become an expert on parenting....

In the very little time I have been a mother,  I have learned more about myself than I have about parenting. But of the things I can pass along at this juncture, one would be to become an expert on parenting YOUR OWN children. Now that sounds a little snarky, but my point is, every child is different. Luckily you only have to be parents to your own (this includes any children you have legal custodial rights too). So get to know them very well.

 James and I have sole responsibility for our children and both have specific physical and emotional needs.
Obviously I can read what other people think is best for my children. There is always an endless supply of knowledge waiting to be devoured and applied. Some of this info is helpful. Truthfully, most hasn't helped me, only caused me guilt and anxiety. I think it is important to be well informed. But i think it is important to also be honest and realistic when it comes to parenting.
  For me, realistically I knew I couldn't be a full time mom and pay for an art school education. I can have both but at different times. I chose motherhood first because I've always liked the idea of being a young mom ( Also the idea of only being 45 when my kids are grown gets me excited about planning a long european vacation). That aside here I am, two toddlers with a baby on the way! wow, i was serious. Poor James, he gets overwhelmed with all my logistical planning( if i have a baby now when i'm 45 i'll travel around Europe). Anyway back to being honest and realistic.
Honestly, parenting is difficult. Why? Well because existing in a household with different people is difficult, and children are little people. Little people with big demands. And sacrifice is difficult. Your children will need you to make sacrifices. For example I have sacrificed today--- sleep, eating all of my breakfast while it was warm, my interests, my time,  a shower, clean hands, clean clothes etc... you get the point. Doing this daily can be like sand paper to your brain, especially if you have high expectations.
So it brings me back to my original point, becoming an expert on your own children. Sometimes you have to lower your expectations for your child to where they are. For example, Deacon is hitting his milestones behind what his sister was doing at this point. There are a few reason for this, one he is a boy (thats right girls are smarter ;) lol). Two he was early, so his brain is actually still developing at its appropriate rate if we keep with his original due date. And three, unlike his sister, deacon isn't on the fast track to independence and ruling the world. When the doctor says he may need speech therapy i don't panic because from what i know it might take him a month longer than his peers. Also deacon likes just taking it all in before he commits. He is going to talk, but for now he is a guy of action and few words. I know this from observation and interaction. This part of parenting is fun and exciting. Sometimes i feel like a scientist, and some days I feel like a janitor. But all the time I spend with them is an opportunity to get to know them and learn.


Hopefully in the future right before I leave for Europe, Eden will say, "mom bring me something back from your travels!" and I'll know exactly what to get her. And Deacon will give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and say "later!" and i'll know that means, "you and dad have fun, don't forget us, bring me back a cool medieval sword"....


Im sure I will never write a book on how to become the best parent, but if im lucky my kids will be able to say I was the best parent for them!