What a hateful, racist, philandering, chauvinist, bitter old man taught me about Love.

I have been struggling with a mix of anxiety/stress for several reasons.

One, i'm pregnant with my third child so stress/anxiety is a prerequisite. Two, financially after buying our first home remodeling and having my three year old go through three surgeries with pending bills we are stretched thin (did i mention we can't fit three car seats in my car with a baby due in november). Lastly, the status of the world and my family's place in it causes me some anxiety. Im not saying my life is ruled by these emotions, but they do occur daily even if for a moment.

Now what does this have to do with love and a hateful man? Well mostly I was just explaining why these thoughts were on my mind. I just have lots of thoughts on my mind. And on occasion I remember to question what the Lord is working out in my heart.

C.W. was a notorious gambler, run around, racist who hated God and most people.  He was a bad father and an even worse husband. He caused heart ache and scars on the hearts of the people he should have protected with his life. He was an abuser and a user. He was a broken man. And yet I loved him. I loved him a lot. And you know, the God he hated loved him a lot.

How do I know this? Because this verse says so, and because I saw Gods kindness towards him.

"...But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."  Luke 6:35


This teaching has always been hard to swallow right? I mean LOVE your enemies? But my enemies hate me they would be content to see me and my family stop existing! How could I possibly love them? These days we have lots of enemies. I mean we have political enemies, cultural enemies, zealous crazy sociopathic enemies in every other breaking news story!!!


Back to C.W.
At the end of his life my grandfather was still as grumpy and hateful as ever. And yet he was still taken care of generously by his daughter. She laid down her life daily for him and his ailing health. Even at the end of a life mostly wasted, God still gave him one more chance to reconcile, one more chance to let forgiveness enter his heart. And Hallelujah he accepted. Thats what real LOVE is, that is what Jesus is talking about. Romans 5:8 says that God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners Jesus died for us. The simple truth of that verse is, we are all Gods enemy because we all are ungrateful and wicked. Thats why we have to love our enemy because in doing so we are recognizing that our lives are not anymore forgivable than theirs.

Of course over the past week and a half there has been all sorts of drama about a certain business and its owners beliefs that will go nameless ( bc my brain has been over saturated by its sight) you know what im talking about. Now because im a very opinionated person, of course I have to make a few remarks on the situation and on situations like it.

There has been lots of venom filled words thrown around like; hate, bigot, fag, religious, ignorant, embarrassment and intolerant. First of all, usually the people who use these terms are as hypocritical for using them in a general sense as those they are labeling. Lots of people talk about what Jesus preached whether they are a Christian or not. Here is something Jesus said about hypocrites:

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and self-indulgence..." -matthew 23:25

Now before the non-religous types get on your high horse (you had your foot in the stirrup I know you did) I think when Jesus speaks about "teachers of the law" he is talking about you too. How? Well we all have a law or "ideals" that we follow. As soon as you start voicing those things to others whether discussing or "preaching" you are teaching your law to whomever is listening. And if you are on Facebook its probably several hundred people. 


See now you are included. And that verse makes total sense right because I bet you are greedy and self-indulgent ( I know I am, I totally drink the last of the milk with my Oreos and make the kids eat oatmeal in the morning). We'd be in denial not to admit there are places in all our hearts that have anger, bitterness, addiction, gluttony, idolatry and I could go on and on. We really are all equal!


Now I'd like to address my Jesus loving friends with this verse:


“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you..."  John 15:9-12

Not much needs to be said about this other than when he says his command is to "Love each other" he speaking about believers loving other believers. 

When I hear Christians point fingers at each other or, Lord help me, say they are embarrassed to be a Christian; to me thats like the hand slapping the face for having a cold. Why do we need to shame ourselves when we are already sick. Yes we hold each other accountable, but more than that we are there for each other. 

When we are there for our brothers and sisters, that looks more like the hand giving the face an antihistamine and some orange juice. Why are we commenting on each others status and not really being the family or "church" that we are supposed to be. Why not be like "hey friend I see you are going through some intense emotions I was wondering if you wanted to grab some coffee or maybe I could pray for you over whats burdening your heart" not "OMG! The world thinks Christians are ignorant idiots, I really don't want to be thought of like that, I will distance myself." 

I've been there so this finger is pointing at me as well. Funny enough Jesus also talks about that feeling too.

 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ¹⁹ If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. ²⁰ Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’^[b] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. ²¹ They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me." John 15:18-21


If you are one of my friends and don't love Jesus, and you have these emotions towards me or my family or church folks in general; that's okay. I fail in my love of Jesus, but thats why I choose Christ and His Gospel because I know I lack. 

He loved us all while we were his enemies and he laid down his life so that we could live ours to the fullest. And fullest means full of fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) and full of fellowship with each other. 

If we are living our life to the fullest for Jesus then the world will benefit...No matter what kind of sandwich we eat.